spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
