No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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