Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
