One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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