I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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