I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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