i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
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apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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