wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
