A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
