just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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