You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Send help, water and tortillas.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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