Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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