Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
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Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
sex in a hospital.. check
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.