I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
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They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.