i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...