Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
4 words: hood of his car
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was confusing and full of hummus
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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