Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt