The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
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I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid