I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize