I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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