I can't watch pbs sober anymore
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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