Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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