Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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