***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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