That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad