How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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