Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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