I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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