The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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