the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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