Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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