my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
