i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
