It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
