eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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