I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
