So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
