I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
