I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize