You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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