you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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