I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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