from now on my penis is your penis
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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