This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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