He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
