***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
