woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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