if only i could text you this smell
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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