"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is Oprah even human
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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