New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Drunk is not a location!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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