I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
