we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
