your thong is hanging out like whoa
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
