dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
