we're blogging at a bar
one two three fourrrrnication!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
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And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she peed on how many people?
it glows. i had to have it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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