Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She bit a glass in half.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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