Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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