Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
