And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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