i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
