STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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