Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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