Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
