Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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